Skip to main content

On parenting a pre-toddler

More and more, when I meet friends at school or in the grocery store, they look at me and ask if I am OK. I think this is because I seem overwhelmed and tired, and the answer to their question is "mostly." The real problem, of course, is that I am parenting a pre-toddler. I think that the main purpose of parents for children from 6 to 14 months is simply to keep them alive long enough to allow them to be civilized---not an easy task.

Parenting a baby who is not sensible enough to understand why he shouldn't put everything in his mouth, why crawling down the stairs head first is a bad idea, or even why he can't be with his mama all the time, is intense. For example, suppose I am carrying him around and put him down to do something (you can do almost everything while holding a baby, but not everything). One of a number of things happens:
  • I hear a "crawl, crawl, crawl, thump, wail!" as he bangs himself into the table, or the floor.
  • I hear just "wail!" as he protests being separated from me.
  • I run over to take away whatever he is putting in his mouth, and he starts wailing.
  • He plays for a minute, then starts wailing and crawls towards me and tries to climb into my arms.
You might notice that none of these scenarios ends happily. We're working on it, but it is definitely hard work for both of us. As long as he is not in danger, I need to decide whether what I am doing is more urgent than picking him up. If he is in danger, I need to put down whatever I was trying to get done and run to help. I am basically on high alert all the time that he is awake, and it is wearing me down.

As I was thinking about this this morning, I realized that my complaints sounded familiar... in fact, I had called my sister when Amanda was this age, with exactly the same overwhelmed feeling. She responded (as I had responded when her child was this age) by reminding me that this was related to development, and it would pass. In fact, Amanda did survive toddlerhood, and I had almost forgotten the pain we went through to get here. I do believe that Luke and I will make it through this stage in his life. But if I seem overwhelmed, it is because I am, at least for the moment.
Labels:

Comments

Anonymous said…
Thanks for posting in time for my lecture on toddlerhood (had never included a segment on pretoddlerhood before)!

Love,
your sister
(and yes, this will pass)
October 8, 2007 at 4:20 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why you should study the history of math

  Why you should study the history of math In the mid 1300s a fad made its way around Italy. Mathematicians would challenge each other to “mathematical duels”. They would post problems for their opponents to solve, sometimes along with their solutions in coded poetry. The winners would get support and funding from rich patrons, the losers would descend into obscurity. One such contest, between Fiore and Tartaglia, involved a new method for solving the cubic. In order to win, Tartaglia worked day and night to find Fiore’s method---unfortunately, Fiore did not do the same and only knew his own method and no others. (*Recall that the formula for solutions to quadratic equations of the form use the quadratic formula, Giorlamo Cardano---physician, philosopher, astrologer and mathematician---convinced Tartaglia to share his method and promised never to reveal it. Then Cardano figured out a more general method, and wanted to share it, but was blocked by his promises. Fortunately (for Ca...
Post a Comment
Read more

Books I like: reality edition

Here are some more books from my childhood and later. I read a lot as a kid, and these books are the ones that stand out in my memory. I figure that if I can remember them 25 years after I read them, they must be pretty good. I'm calling this the "Reality Segment," not fantasy, not science fiction, not history, just real life. The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin : This is probably my favorite children's book of all time. I read it in 3rd grade or so, then read it again to clear it up more. Then I read it in 6 th grade and finally understood what was going on during the second reading of the will. In more recent readings I've understood more about Sydelle Paulaski and the relationship between Dr. Denton and the lovely Angela. What a pleasure. Ellen Raskin has written many other good children's books (all quirky and surprising) but this is the jewel. Bruno and Boots books by Gordon Korman : As the FNDP (Friendly Neighborhood Developmental Psychologis...
2 comments
Read more

Books I like: magic/science fiction

I read a lot of science fiction and fantasy when I was younger, so I was surprised when I was thinking about this list at how few books were on it. The other thing that is interesting is how many books I just remember a few details from, but not anything useful like a title or author. Half Magic and the whole series, by Edward Eager: My favorite is Knight's Castle, although I suspect I would have enjoyed it more if I had ever read Ivanhoe... Mrs. Piggle Wiggle by Betty MacDonald: I'm not sure when it happened, but I now identify with the parents rather than the kids. The Seven Citadels by Geraldine Harris: I came back to the Jr. High library to check this out even after I moved on to the high school. Girl with the Silver Eyes by Wilo Davis Roberts: I always wondered what would happen if I had ESP and other "special" abilities. The OZ books, by L. Frank Baum: I read almost all of these (all the ones I could find in the library, rather). My favorite is Tik - To...
5 comments
Read more