More and more, when I meet friends at school or in the grocery store, they look at me and ask if I am OK. I think this is because I seem overwhelmed and tired, and the answer to their question is "mostly." The real problem, of course, is that I am parenting a pre-toddler. I think that the main purpose of parents for children from 6 to 14 months is simply to keep them alive long enough to allow them to be civilized---not an easy task.
Parenting a baby who is not sensible enough to understand why he shouldn't put everything in his mouth, why crawling down the stairs head first is a bad idea, or even why he can't be with his mama all the time, is intense. For example, suppose I am carrying him around and put him down to do something (you can do almost everything while holding a baby, but not everything). One of a number of things happens:
As I was thinking about this this morning, I realized that my complaints sounded familiar... in fact, I had called my sister when Amanda was this age, with exactly the same overwhelmed feeling. She responded (as I had responded when her child was this age) by reminding me that this was related to development, and it would pass. In fact, Amanda did survive toddlerhood, and I had almost forgotten the pain we went through to get here. I do believe that Luke and I will make it through this stage in his life. But if I seem overwhelmed, it is because I am, at least for the moment.
Parenting a baby who is not sensible enough to understand why he shouldn't put everything in his mouth, why crawling down the stairs head first is a bad idea, or even why he can't be with his mama all the time, is intense. For example, suppose I am carrying him around and put him down to do something (you can do almost everything while holding a baby, but not everything). One of a number of things happens:
- I hear a "crawl, crawl, crawl, thump, wail!" as he bangs himself into the table, or the floor.
- I hear just "wail!" as he protests being separated from me.
- I run over to take away whatever he is putting in his mouth, and he starts wailing.
- He plays for a minute, then starts wailing and crawls towards me and tries to climb into my arms.
As I was thinking about this this morning, I realized that my complaints sounded familiar... in fact, I had called my sister when Amanda was this age, with exactly the same overwhelmed feeling. She responded (as I had responded when her child was this age) by reminding me that this was related to development, and it would pass. In fact, Amanda did survive toddlerhood, and I had almost forgotten the pain we went through to get here. I do believe that Luke and I will make it through this stage in his life. But if I seem overwhelmed, it is because I am, at least for the moment.
Comments
Love,
your sister
(and yes, this will pass)