The other night I was exhausted and feeling ill, so after getting Luke to bed (early, because he was sick as well) I told Amanda, "You need to put yourself to bed. Get to bed at a reasonable hour."
Eleanor piped up, "Oh, you get 'reasonable hour' privileges!" It struck me that the choice of when to go to bed one of the stepping stones on the road to adulthood. Giving someone that privilege is not an assumption that they will always make the right choice (ask me whether, as a supposedly responsible adult, I always go to bed at a reasonable hour!). On the other hand, it does assume that the person can judge what the reasonable hour is, take steps to get to bed at that time, and take responsibility for their mood when they make a mistake. The final step in responsible adulting involves evaluating whether what you did worked well, and adjusting your actions so that they are more constructive in the future.
Unfortunately for Amanda, I then looked at the clock, decided it was a reasonable hour, and sent her to bed. I'm sure the responsibility will fall more on her shoulders in the future.
Eleanor piped up, "Oh, you get 'reasonable hour' privileges!" It struck me that the choice of when to go to bed one of the stepping stones on the road to adulthood. Giving someone that privilege is not an assumption that they will always make the right choice (ask me whether, as a supposedly responsible adult, I always go to bed at a reasonable hour!). On the other hand, it does assume that the person can judge what the reasonable hour is, take steps to get to bed at that time, and take responsibility for their mood when they make a mistake. The final step in responsible adulting involves evaluating whether what you did worked well, and adjusting your actions so that they are more constructive in the future.
Unfortunately for Amanda, I then looked at the clock, decided it was a reasonable hour, and sent her to bed. I'm sure the responsibility will fall more on her shoulders in the future.
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