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Sharpie than a serpent's tooth

How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is
To have a thankless child! (Apologies to Shakespeare!)

Luke managed to find a black sharpie permanent marker in the living room. I hadn't realized it was there, as it was in a box with lots of other things in it. He proceeded to write on many things. He wrote:
  • on the cabinets
  • on the floor
  • on the train tracks
  • on the coffee table
  • on the tan leather couch (of course, not the dark green one that we don't like as much)
  • on the angel food cake pan
Where was I while all this was happening? Blissfully unaware, making very delicious cinnamon-apple bread with my daughters. Or criminally negligent, depending on how guilty I am feeling at the moment. It took about 5 minutes, so I guess I shouldn't feel too bad.

People say "House-proof the baby, don't baby-proof the house." I have seen it argued that kids who don't ordinarily get exposed to dangerous things can't handle it when they are exposed to those dangerous things. So perhaps the problem was that we don't have enough sharpie markers strewn around the house.

I have also heard that you can't give directions by saying, "No, don't do X," where X is the dangerous thing that you really don't want the kid to do. For example, you should say "Please write only on paper," instead of "No, don't write on the wall!" The reasoning goes that if you say the latter, the child immediately thinks, "Write on the wall? What a great idea! I hadn't thought of that! Thanks for suggesting it." Not only that, but even if you tell the kid not to write on the leather couch, they might still write on the angel food cake pan...

Luke doesn't really understand what he did wrong. He knows something terrible happened, because I took him up to his crib and left him there for 20 minutes or so (for his own protection). He heard me telling him to write only on paper, and not on the couch etc. But I am absolutely sure that given another sharpie and a few minutes to himself, he'd do the same thing again.

I feel as though I can't win. Is there anywhere I can surrender?

Here is what the girls and I were making while this disaster was going on.
Recipe for Apple Cinnamon Rolls, by Mama and Eleanor

1 1/4 c warm water
2 Tbsp margarine
2 c whole wheat flour
1 c white flour (bread flour)
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 Tbsp sugar
1 1/2 tsp yeast

Melted margarine
cinnamon sugar
apple chunks

Mix up the bread ingredients in your bread machine to make dough. After the first rising, roll the dough out on a floured table into a few rectangles. Brush melted margarine on the bread dough, sprinkle liberally with apple chunks and then with cinnamon sugar. Roll the rectangles up and then cut into mini-loaves (we got 5 mini-loaves). Let rise for 1/2 hour and then bake for 23 minutes at 350 degrees.

Comments

kadia said…
Oh baby!
It sounds more extensive than the purple tempera paint on the new hand-made silk draperies. Good luck in your ink removal efforts. Is there art school for 2-year-olds?

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