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Panic

I was in the car today, driving Ella to pick up Amanda from school, and I realized that it was awfully quiet. Luke is almost always talking. I looked back and didn't see Luke in the car. "Luke! Luke! are you here!" I yelled. Ella looked up from her book, and said in a worried voice, "No, he's not in the car!"

As you can imagine, my thoughts immediately went back to the house where I must have left him---I had a million things to remember today (we went from string lessons to social group to dinner to Taekwondo), and I have always worried that I would end up forgetting a person. I did once forget Amanda in a waiting room for 3 minutes when I went in to Ella's gym class, although she was 3 months old at the time... "Poor Luke! He must be so worried! He was probably bawling and terrified! He'll never trust me again!" I worried silently. I needed to get off the highway right then, call Michael to pick up Amanda, call the string teacher to apologize for being late to the lesson...

And then I remembered why Luke wasn't in the car. When the girls have lessons, I need to participate so that I can help (especially Amanda) during the week. I can't also be chasing and amusing Luke in a very small room for an hour, so I drop him off at a drop-in childcare place. He had been completely happy and safe when I dropped him off.

I haven't felt anything like the combination of relief and stupidity (for imagining such a silly scenario) before. Hopefully, I won't have to feel it again any time soon.
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